is native to the bay area.
thinks john hughes is bigger than jesus.
is an ardent believer in hard determinism, and wishes he were better friends with fate.
is guilty of an overuse—but never misuse—of the word "literally".
spends nights and weekends trying to repair his time machine.
draws upon a limitless supply of cheeky quips designed specifically for ironic post-hipster posturing.
likes red more than you do.